Spam Poetry: “Cris-Crossing the Universe”

I have tried my hands at different kinds of experimental internet poetry, and all of the poems turned out to have a dystopic touch or tantalizing hints to some fundamental philosophical truth. Perhaps this says something about 1) The Internet or 2) about my subconsciousness.

Since I have reduced blogging frequency, the number of spam comments plummeted accordingly – from 600 to 150 spam comments in the queue. So it has got harder and harder to find meaningful spam. In addition, there is a new variety: Such comments are not composed of meaningful sentences, but phrases of three or four words are stitched together to form a lengthy comment that sounds like postmodern poetry in its own right.

But I try to rise to the challenge, and even add one more hurdle. Rules for this poem:

  • Each line is a snippet of a spam comment.
  • Snippets must not be edited
  • Only one snippet can be extracted from one spam comment, but not every comment has to be utilized.
  • New: Snippets must be used immediately in the order of spam comments (descending by date), and they must not be re-arranged afterwards.
  • All comments have to be harvested in a single session.

The following lines were taken from about 125 spam comments in the queue on October 1st.

The idea shows through the pamphlet
where people need to respond

temperatures will most likely govern
long-lasting usable cartoon figures

in certain places the floor is sinking
We have a very big problem.

withdrawal insomnia
The arrangement exists because of the persistence

arrangement - persistence

using ontology within all things
There should be one internal link

You’ll be able to move to another location
Could certainly come zombies

A Dreamcatcher bard who have been heard
sober as opposed to
stepping off point
the one that has problems with panic attack

We will dissect too
cris-crossing the universe far far.

cris-crossing the universe

Scattered all over
the location where the profits have been

conspiracy delayed
raving about choosing real humans

our personal fashionable ethos
As opposed to the isolation
produced by Zombie galleries
creating an irritatingly low experience

in the sci fi shooting living space
extremely like black topics

Our favorite self-theory
That particular creep
seriously electrifying

seriously electrifying

Virtual Book Spine Poetry (Edition 2014 + 2015/6)

I am going to merge two overdue posts: 1) the 2014 edition of my yearly book reviews, a tradition I started last year, and 2) my next experimental poem, in a new experimental genre.

I owe to the inventors of Book Spine Poetry – and I’d like to challenge this: You can’t do that with ebooks. Which is a problem as I hardly read physical books.

But can’t we stack digital books on top of each other – creating a poem from their titles, that is: their virtual spines?

Books belong mainly in one of these genres.

  • IT security, hacking, and history / culture thereof. Plus a few history of science books
  • Life, work, technology, psychology, and their interdependencies.
  • Sleep research also including books read in 2015. Hence: 2015/6, one sixth of 2015.
  • Fiction by 1) Douglas Coupland, seismograph of geek culture and 2) Andra Watkins, a new author with a signature witty and succinct style.

Take artistic liberty I use the main title or the sub-title as a line of my poem – see the hover text on links for full information. I salt the poem with some spam comments (the lines without hyperlinks), and I add images from a building that boasts Germany’s largest unsupported concrete wall.

If this is too experimental: see my chronological Reading List instead.

it still appears to be a bit surreal to be honest

The Secret Life of Sleep
Exploding the Phone

Hackers
are generally preventing the situation
Democracy Without Secularism

Night School
The Art of Deception

Outliers
Lean In
don’t hesitate and lunge for a goal
Ghost in the Wires

architectural poetry

Not Without My Father
Catch Me If You Can
I am a Strange Loop
The options can be a little intimidating

 Walden
The Glass Cage

The Surprising Science of the Mind at Rest

The Year Without Pants
Slack
Nevertheless, for all it’s success,
Carry On

Microserfs
How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big

The Hard Thing About Hard Things
Good sleep, good learning, good life
The real trick now is maintaining a pipeline

architectural poetry

Generation A
The 4-Hour Workweek
Farewell to Reality

Girlfriend in a Coma
Hers was a outstanding life
Countdown to Zero Day

Spam Nation
So Good They Can’t Ignore You
it feels like to have a million dollars in bitcoins
Spoilt Rotten

Gödel, Escher, Bach
Robust Control System Networks

To Live Forever
I have always disliked the idea

architectural poetry

Quantum Computing since Democritus
as elliptical and centred as
The Twenty-four Hour Mind

Internal Time
Engineering Security
including officers with drawn weaponry

Generation X
Thinking, Fast and Slow
Moving On
if you are tired of accepting failure

Applied Cryptography
It truly is incomprehensible to me now,
Dreamland

Its not like you’ve said something extremely impressive architectural poetry

The Destiny of the Universe

… not what the title implies but …

Spam Poetry, harvested from about 530 spam comments on this blog. I keep to my usually dystopian-postmodern genre. Imagine somebody with a British accent reading it, and mentally insert black and white images inspired by Philip K. Dick‘s short stories. Don’t expect to understand it, it is like those highly refined artistic movies – wrapped in several layers of increasingly sophisticated interpretations.

Every line is cut out of a spam comment, no editing allowed except truncating at the beginning or end. For more background and the history of my search term and spam poetry see here.

This time I owe to spammers trying to promote games that obviously involve the violent killing of aliens.

the destiny of the universe

my honest, preconceived thoughts

a great unreal dream
actual irony
when you con the destiny with your artistry

gloomy and cynical futurism
that any mortal should avoid

you arrive from the Victorian England
in the known galaxy

Illustration for Jules Verne's The Mysterious Island, by Jules Férat

dark and cynical sci-fi
forces an illusion
of that time gone by
When skyscrapers were first built

you are not understanding anything

what if i told you
There are undoubtedly more color options nearby

paradigmatic coal-black
started to be repetitive
one of the big deterrents to me

your deprecating coherence
is a potpourri

this type of despicable hypocirite
it will be the future of the human race

handing more control over
lets us progress even deeper into this sci-fi nightmare

armor and weapon
usually do not adhere to regulations
The glare of the goblin sparks partially blinded him.

Artwork for the book The War of the Worlds, Alvim-correa12player in cyberspace
heed your call of duty

I’ll certainly come back
through the dust
or snipe the undead beasts

talk with other mentors
emotionally distraught

men and women dressed in cartoon costumes

The cartoon is attractive
corporate, regal, or fair-minded

these crooks
reported to have ghost activity

space zombies
called Glass Collective
never publicly dated anyone

Put your prowess to evaluation
removing their skin

rapidly rose the reputation
conditional upon the execution

Disgrace on Google
the cosmic horror
We do know these people analyze

NSA Muscular Google CloudNumerous aliens in space will traumatize you
with the fantasy stars
Your toddlers shall like it

none of the visions has borne fruit
as a matter of fact

unsubstantiated distortions
completely ridiculous.

in public areas nevertheless

This cue
the echo
The spring of 24
most is inconsistent

the web
becomes a virtual community
something that we are hoping

i could truthfully do something to be able

Slowly return your head to the original position

Uhmm..

Will there be a part 2?

the last sentence of the page

Poetry from the Virtual Scrapyard Anniversary: I Subconsciously Think about This Element

Today is an anniversary: The first Search Term Poem has seen the light of day one year ago on my Facebook timeline – this was my debut as a search term poet on WordPress on 12-12-12.

I have created tons of artifacts from the virtual scrapyard since then.

Spammers had enough time to hone their skills since my latest spooky Spam Poem – and indeed: Spam comments mutated – to the more sophisticated! Unfortunately the spam filter caught them all, but the latest spam is better suited to serve as raw material for my stream of consciousness.

Rules:

  • Each line of the poem including the title is a fragment of consecutive words copied from the spam comments on this blog.
  • Comments must not be re-used. Each comment is trashed after having been poem-ized.
  • Editing is not permitted; typos must not be corrected.
  • In a line different fragments must not be concatenated. 

I subconsciously think about this element

the Edifice
does kill me
rather unpretentious

Light is absorbed with the crystal
precious metal shinning
explained by their all-aroundness

considering the portfolio clutch
it has some overlapping

In other words the sock in the freezer cooler
an issue that students take with each other every day, Master of science

reassured of the fact
the 2nd hand will become moving
timeless and energetic
The surveillance cameras seem at everybody
whose way also keeps on adjusting
fit your individual status

Geekiness of Classical Mechanics
you can obviously see the rules of grid from the bottom
made up of a series of pipes

being one of the few individuals
I watched the flick under her name once more
currently renewing my passport
Personalized redevelopment
appeal to the telltale

i am just adhering to you
involved with unintended degeneration

Wonderful goods from you
lead your escapades in all serenity
the only potential difficulty is being capable to find them

difficult to distinguish between good and evil
let us determine what you think
I sit on the sidelines
I have learn this submit

This is a local matter
obviously not the case
responding of all time continues to be emerging
This poison is the most thorough destruction of life forms

Dont write a status message at all
that could no doubt get applied yet again
Not rocket science

Like them or can’t stand them
Material storage can happen
Determine underneath

we’re not seeing the storyplot
and the shadows
they are often all-knowing

What really annoys me is
wholesomeness connected with thought process
What’s wrong with it? What’s right!?

The power to complete the task
with a mere click of the mouse
aren’t quick to tarnish
on more levels than one
Stay up as late as possible

in this technological world the whole thing is accessible
pragmatic and enterprising
common at any point in time

Wipe out overwork
there are more reasonable options
more desirable than being dynamic

now I embrace this
epic saga
vintage (classic)
I agree with your point of view

Dumaine01

Oil painting by Bernard Dumaine (Wkimedia, Free Art License)

What? A Spooky Spam Poem of Danger, Fear, Hope, and Lifeless Faces

It is time to purge the spam queue again! Spam commenters are still gloomy and plagued with existential questions and answers.

I am very proud of the simple and powerful title. What? was a complete spam comment. I even clicked the associated link as it felt so genuine.

What?

there is no danger
If you have no fear.

The sector hopes
it will be famous
I did not expect this.

Lifeless Face 024

not all people realize
un-ambiguity and preserveness

It looked spooky and far-out
do not provide an exact mental picture

Lifeless Face 035

a big, unscrupulous, supercool unyielding drive
this can be the worst
how they believe
is impossible

captivate attentions

unpredicted emotions
were also in close proximity

Lifeless Face 039

people come together and share thoughts
digging into more facts as we speak

It seems too complex
Sit down and do some math on your own

your enthusiasm
reduces the measure of atomic number 8
the proper functioning of machines
you will not be accessible.
unaware of these details

Lifeless Face 022

it seems as though you relied on
particular choices
no I don’t

precious familiarity
thus a classic.

you are my function
spit you out wrong, shriveled, depressed, disturbed or disgusted

thats all I have to say.
Always go after your heart.

Lifeless Face 050

I owe the Lifeless Faces to photographer nottsexminer.  They are available on Wikimedia – I stumbled upon them by searching for spooky.

I build upon his work, so according to the Creative Commons license on Wikimedia:

share alike – If you alter, transform, or build upon this work, you may distribute the resulting work only under the same or similar license to this one.

Keep that in mind if you build upon my spam poem 🙂

Existential Spam Poem: The Soul of This Bag

I follow the call to arms by fellow spam poet Michelle(*). Every time she blogs about spam poetry, I have a spam poem in my drafts folder – so I think I need to release the current one now.

This time I defined the following goals: there should be a topic and a narrative, and the topic should be decided on before creating the poem.

Of course (read my previous posts) my topical choice is: The Meaning of Life. I went for solving all those mysterious questions brought to the table by philosophers in a single spam poem.

So I was searching for powerful existential language in about 160 spam comments.

And then something odd happened. I probably can’t deny having been heavily influenced by Johannes’ pivotal spam poem about a Conversation with God. When I had read his poem I figured: How on earth would you uncover a conversation with god in spam comments?

But when I searched for the ultimate questions and answers in my spam comments I realized that any suitable existential phrase is either

the pompous statement of a

Cult Leader

or  the longing plea of a potential

Disciple.

So I believe Johannes has unlocked what spam comments are really about – once for all.

I am just his disciple.

The soul of this bag

These was the precept we used
Sign up before it is too late

Its like you read my mind!
I have been seeking ages
I wish to apprentice
I’d really love to be a part of community

there are risks
with regards to the dimensional finely-detailed of the pieces

Please let me know where you got your design
that could give instant relief

seek out stableness and quiet
the things that you ought to perform right away
It’s very effortless

so here it occurs
your broadcast offered bright clear idea
auspicious
Your favorite justification

These are actually enormous ideas
how a user can understand it.

I know this is totally off topic
you suspect that your method has become infected
is it a issue on my end?
how could we be in contact?

this type of discussion is futile
it’s time to be happy
I’ve added you

St Andrews facade

The Cult of Spam Term poetry grows like weed in between the steel and glass monuments of the empires of The Corporate World (St. Andrews Church in Sydney, Wikimedia)

New readers: You find a primer on the history of spam poetry and related links below my previous spam poem. Let’s also welcome a new shining star in the community of spam poets – I haven’t been aware of this blog until Michelle pointed me to John’s spam poems:

Poetry From The Spam Filter: Seven

John even gives sublime audio performances of his poems – though I had always imagined my spam poems would be read by somebody with a British accent, Monthy Python style. I would like to hire John Cleese!

(*) Update – Breaking news:

Michelle’s freshly minted, enigmatic spam poem: Wisdom from the Spam-Master: Coded Secrets, Ozone Conspiracy

Remarks Written by Brain-Dead Visitors

Dear reader, enclosed you find my latest spam poem. Each line is verbatim from a spam comment (including typos). The meme pool had comprised about 400 spam comments collected in the past three weeks.

This time I forced myself to compile the poem extremely fast, scrolling through these comments in Data-from-Star-Trek-style and letting my subconsciousness decide. Therefore I call that sub-genre Postmodern Science Fiction Inspired Spam Poetry Devoid of Meaning.

I did not select phrases with less than 4 words. This rule is optional, not part of the Rules of the Cult – see historical information below – and I did not make up the last sentence of the poem, even the emoticon is genuine!

searching for sanskrit tattoos

too enforced a Political platform
that roam across the surface over periods of numerous millions of years

Your house is valueble for me
Good luck for the next!

Use your music or television as a continuous background noise
Are you sure concerning the supply?

Teeth are not made of bone
Will there be a part 2?

If you are inside the horizontal scenery
The caribbean have an infinitely more elementary reach

The instruments that lag in real life, lag correctly
I lost track of what I had been performing

A creative bent of mind and an eye for detail
to a great extent kind of free in bizarre grades of refinement

Such is the case, you must purchase tokens
but eventually you have to deliver

Could it be only me or does it look like a few of these remarks come across like they are written by brain dead visitors? 😛

Tanjavur Tamil Inscription2

Sanskrit – the grantha script (Wikimedia). I am sure Sanskrit tattoos look great!

Some historical context for new readers:

I crafted my first search term poems and spam poems some months ago in my Mad Scientist’s Garage – MacGyver-style, typical engineer’s poetry.

I was a spam poet, but also the chronicler of the Early Spam Poetry Community. This was my write-up of the dawn of Spam Poetry and Search Term Poetry and I had the honor to review the first on spam poetry recently.

But then … more recently …  spam poets entered the stage who really know how to handle languages made spam poetry real poetry:

The Nasty Commenter Spam Poem: A comment that haunted many bloggers – now dissected and disarmed. You can also see how the spammosphere reacts to the poem!

An Android Girl Coming of Age or a Conversation With God: The first poem I am aware of that contains a story, a dialogue. I have also learned how spam poetry works from the analysis in this article: Like regular poetry, the words already exist; they are just waiting to be put together in the right order.

Androids

Androids (Wikimedia). Probably the Android girl coming of age needs a drink after her spiritual experience?