The Destiny of the Universe

… not what the title implies but …

Spam Poetry, harvested from about 530 spam comments on this blog. I keep to my usually dystopian-postmodern genre. Imagine somebody with a British accent reading it, and mentally insert black and white images inspired by Philip K. Dick‘s short stories. Don’t expect to understand it, it is like those highly refined artistic movies – wrapped in several layers of increasingly sophisticated interpretations.

Every line is cut out of a spam comment, no editing allowed except truncating at the beginning or end. For more background and the history of my search term and spam poetry see here.

This time I owe to spammers trying to promote games that obviously involve the violent killing of aliens.

the destiny of the universe

my honest, preconceived thoughts

a great unreal dream
actual irony
when you con the destiny with your artistry

gloomy and cynical futurism
that any mortal should avoid

you arrive from the Victorian England
in the known galaxy

Illustration for Jules Verne's The Mysterious Island, by Jules Férat

dark and cynical sci-fi
forces an illusion
of that time gone by
When skyscrapers were first built

you are not understanding anything

what if i told you
There are undoubtedly more color options nearby

paradigmatic coal-black
started to be repetitive
one of the big deterrents to me

your deprecating coherence
is a potpourri

this type of despicable hypocirite
it will be the future of the human race

handing more control over
lets us progress even deeper into this sci-fi nightmare

armor and weapon
usually do not adhere to regulations
The glare of the goblin sparks partially blinded him.

Artwork for the book The War of the Worlds, Alvim-correa12player in cyberspace
heed your call of duty

I’ll certainly come back
through the dust
or snipe the undead beasts

talk with other mentors
emotionally distraught

men and women dressed in cartoon costumes

The cartoon is attractive
corporate, regal, or fair-minded

these crooks
reported to have ghost activity

space zombies
called Glass Collective
never publicly dated anyone

Put your prowess to evaluation
removing their skin

rapidly rose the reputation
conditional upon the execution

Disgrace on Google
the cosmic horror
We do know these people analyze

NSA Muscular Google CloudNumerous aliens in space will traumatize you
with the fantasy stars
Your toddlers shall like it

none of the visions has borne fruit
as a matter of fact

unsubstantiated distortions
completely ridiculous.

in public areas nevertheless

This cue
the echo
The spring of 24
most is inconsistent

the web
becomes a virtual community
something that we are hoping

i could truthfully do something to be able

Slowly return your head to the original position

Uhmm..

Will there be a part 2?

the last sentence of the page

Search Term Poetry – Spring Edition

Dear Google,

you do still encrypt your search results. As a security enthusiast I should like this but I rather suspect you want me to use your AdWords tools. Please stop showing me ads for your “starter package” on all social networks, and give me the raw material for my poetry back.

For now I will penalize you by displaying the logo of your competitor although, admittedly, I would find yours more appealing.

Bing logo (2013)Now here is the poem.

As usual, every line corresponds to a search term from WordPress Stats covering the first quarter of 2014. Truncation of search terms at the beginning or the end is permitted, other editing is not.

The images are very much like the search terms – blurry, stored accidentally, and I try to compress and truncate them to serve a purpose.

And yes: the title really was a search term.

the theory and practice of combining just about anything
quality assurance poem
funny ways to combine 2 cliches

hoops smoke effect
response to existentialism

intuitive understanding
shallow and deep reading

non linear art
describes the tendency of the force

polarize antifragile
what is the measure

blank sheet
trusted certificate

google on my heat
myzen engineering

build einstein refrigerator
steampunk heat sink

call center puzzle
automatic clock

chinese wall
scrapyard combines

geonometric art
intersecting lines

poetry-02

sitting gyroscope
entropy and no momentum/energy

upward communication
i need to remember this

elastic glancing collisions
least action

center of mass
snippet shooting

fringe science theories
intuitive symbols

which is more important
to just roll over bump

Intelligent Life-Forms in the Blogosphere – Again!

This post might baffle readers that come here for: science / physics / book reviews / corporate world dark satire / search term poetry / navel-gazing / self-destruction … (and the other genres I have forgotten).

However, I’d argue that this post covers all of those – in a subtle way.

My blog has a long tradition of dealing with blogging award nominations in a very very weird way. Still exhausted from our mad hatter’s tea party of a nomination (I also call it award crowd-sourcing) I had decided to found an award myself. Rules related to it should be bullet-proof, unassailable for logicians and corporate policy nitpickers. Above all, they should prevent exponential inflation.

Now is the time to bestow it upon a fellow blogger victim again!

I herewith nominate for the ILFB award – Intelligent Life-Forms in the Blogosphere:

Judy blogging at Raising the Curtain.

This is the description and the rules. Standards aficionados MAY recognize the format and SHOULD smile now.

The ILFB Award (Intelligent Life-Forms in the Blogosphere) rewards bloggers who are able to cover diverse subjects in a thoughtful and entertaining way. There are no other constraints such as a maximum number of followers.

  1. You are bestowed upon this award no matter what you do. You MAY deny passing on the award, the award will die out – as many life-forms did. You SHOULD nominate at least one blogger, you MAY nominate two bloggers. There is no deadline – you MAY wait for years if you pass on the award, but you MUST NOT nominate somebody if you haven’t been nominated. The founder of the award is exempt from the latter.
  2. You MAY nominate the blogger who has nominated you – the award MAY bounce back and forth between two bloggers forever. However, you MUST change the reason for the nomination every time.
  3. You MUST explain in more than one full sentence why you have nominated the nominee. You SHOULD reward bloggers who are able to write about at least two seemingly diverse subjects.
  4. You SHOULD reblog or pingback one of the nominee’s posts that has been published within the past year. The linked post SHOULD reflect key characteristics of the nominated blog.
  5. You MUST display the award’s logo, and you MAY change the title of the award as well as the logo. They would mutate anyway.
  6. If you find any inconsistency or loophole you SHOULD amend these rules to fix them.
  7. If the award title results in copyright infringements or any violation of any rights you MAY modify it. You MUST NOT hold the award’s founder liable.
  8. You MAY modify and amend rules 1.-7. to your liking as long as the changes
    – reflect your being an intelligent life-form in the blogosphere
    – are in line with the Prime Directive of this award – item no.0.
  9. Include this set of rules 0.-9. in your nomination speech post.

Compliance with the three MUST conditions as stated in 1., 2., and 5. will be checked by the founder of this award using his/her infamous googling skills at random. Any violation will be prosecuted and punished by a making the guilty party subject to a satirical blog post. Any blogger who had once been bestowed the award and who has proved to be compliant with the rules is entitled and encouraged to do the same (Google for non-compliant nominees and ridicule them)

This is the logo.

ILFB-Award-Intelligent-Life-Forms-in-the Blogosphere

As an homage to both Douglas Adams and Douglas Coupland I describe it as: Intelligent Life-Forms in the Blogosphere. The intelligent black life-form in his/her black ship is exploring a new blue world while the innocuous, white blogosphere is rising in the background. Nominees MAY omit that description but SHOULD add an interpretation of their own. (Image credit: The spaceship is from a black-and-white Microsoft Office Clipart – I hope this does not put anybody off. I added the blogosphere and the colors)

I think it is more than obvious why Judy is an intelligent life-form in the blogosphere. But in order to comply with my own rules I herewith state:

Judy writes about Life, the Universe and Everything so it is very easy to find posts on diverse subjects. She mulls about existential deep questions of life – see here Existential Guide to What I Am Doing Here – as wells as tracks down the illogicity of corporate animals’ behaviours – see her analysis of e-mail politics: Stop Using The “CC” As A Weapon.

Her writing shows a qualities that I admire most, especially when combined with sharp analysis – self-irony and humor.

But of course I have decided on that nomination intuitively. Off-the-records I tell you:

Judy has been the first person who has ever dared to comment on my blog. That point of time was several months after the blog went public, so commenting must have felt like entering an eerie ghost ship.

I also have a strong gut feeling that her professional self MAY appreciate the legal lingo of the rules. (On proof-reading I misread now: lethal lingo)

This post is also a subversive attempt of mine to deal with her – still ‘open’ – nomination of myself. So, thanks again, Judy!

And finally: Judy is from Australia, that means she is my blogging antipode, we are separated by 12 time zones and our countries are linguistically entangled by the Austrian-Australian confusion.

We should try to make an earth sandwich! (I did not check co-ordinates – hopefully I will be forced to travel to the Canary Islands.)

Cyber Security Satire?

I am a science fiction fan. In particular, I am a fan of movies featuring Those Lonesome Nerds who are capable of controlling this planet’s critical infrastructure – from their gloomy basements.

But is it science fiction? In the year Die Hard 4.0 has been released a classified video has been recorded – showing an electrical generator dying from a cyber attack.

Fortunately, “Aurora” was just a test attack against a replica of a power plant:

Now some of you know that the Subversive El(k)ement calls herself a Dilettante Science Blogger on Twitter.

But here is an epic story to be unearthed, and it would take a novelist to do that. I can imagine the long-winded narrative unfolding – of people who cannot use their showers or toilets any more after the blackout. Of sinister hackers sending their evil commands into the command centers of the intricate blood circulation of our society we call The Power Grid. Of course they use smart meters to start their attack.

Unfortunately my feeble attempts of tipping my toes into novel writing have been crashed before I even got started: This novel does exist already – in German. I will inform you if is has been translated – either to a novel or directly into a Hollywood movie script.

As I am probably not capable of writing a serious thriller anyway I would rather go for dark satire.

Douglas Adams did cover so many technologies in The Hitchhiker’s Guide the Galaxy – existing and imagined ones – but he did not elaborate much on intergalactic power transmission. So here is room for satire.

What if our Most Critical Infrastructure would not be attacked by sinister hacker nerds but by our smart systems’ smartness dumbness? (Or their operators’.)

(To all you silent readers and idea grabbers out there: Don’t underestimate the cyber technology I had built into that mostly harmless wordpress.com blog: I know all of you who are reading this and if you are going to exploit this idea on behalf of me I will time-travel back and forth and ruin your online reputation.)

That being said I start crafting the plot:

As Adams probably drew his inspiration from his encounters with corporations and bureaucracy when describing the Vogons and InfiniDim enterprises I will extrapolate my cyber security nightmare from an anecdote:

Consider a programmer (a geek. Sorry for the redundant information!) trying to test his code. (Sorry for the gender stereotype. As a geekess I am allowed to do this. It could be female geek also!)

The geek’s code should send messages to other computers in a Windows domain. “Domain” is a technical term, not some geeky reference to Dominion or the like.  He is using net send. Generation Y-ers and other tablet and smartphone freak: This is like social media status message junk lacking images.

But our geek protagonist makes a small mistake: He does not send the test command to his test computer only – but to “EUROPE”. This does nearly refer to the whole continent, actually it addresses all computers in all European subsidiaries of a true Virtual Cyber Empire.

Fortunately modern IT networks are built on nearly AI powered devices called switches which make the cyber attack petering out at the borders of That Large City.

How could we turn this into a story about an attack on the power grid, adding your typical ignorant non-tech sensationalist writer’s cliched ideas:

  1. A humanoid life-form (or flawed android that tests his emotions chip) is tinkering with sort of a Hello World! command – sent to The Whole World literally.
  2. The attack that is just a glitch, an unfortunate concatenation of events, that is been launched in an unrelated part of the cyber space. E.g. by a command displayed on a hacker’s screen in a Youtube video. Or it was launched from the gas grid.
  3. The Command of Death spreads pandemically over the continent, replicating itself more efficiently than cute cat videos on social networks.
Circuit Breaker 115 kV

Any pop-sci article related to the power grid need to show-off some infrastructure like that (Circuit Breaker, Wikimedia)

I contacted my agent immediately.

Shattering my enthusiasm she told me:

This is not science-fiction – this is simply boring. Something like that happened recently in a small country in the middle of Europe.

According to this country’s news a major power blackout had barely been avoided in May 2013. Engineers needed to control the delicate balance of power supply and demand manually as the power grid’s control system has been flooded with gibberish – data that could not be interpreted.

The alleged originator of these commands was a gas transmission system operator in the neighboring country. This company tested a new control system and tried to poll all of its meters for a status update.  Somehow the command found its way from the gas grid to the European power grid and has been replicated.

_________________________

Update –  Bonus material – making of: For the first time I felt the need to tell this story twice – in German and in English. This is not a translation, rather different versions in parallel universes. German-speaking readers – this is the German instance of the post.

The BLAHS #4–Geek of the Year

Earthlings, bow to me. I am famous. The Elkement has been bestowed upon the most prestigious blog award in the universe – non-propagate-able, handed out exclusively by the founder: The BLAHS – BLog Awards Handed out by Sackler. Yes, this is THE Mark Sackler – serial innovator in Search Term Haiku Art and discerning commenter on The Ridiculous and The Sublime. EDIT: Remove [s] from [https] in the links to Mark’s blog to get rid of the false security warnings. See my comment on this alleged bug below.

The Millennium Conjectures™

“Beware of geeks bearing formulas.”–Warren Buffett

I know what you’re thinking.   Why don’t I give the Geek of the Year BLAHS to myself?   Short answer:  I almost won an award like that in my youth, but lost out to the guy in the picture above.   It was no fair really;  I look far cooler in a leopard skin toga than he does.  Anyway, I am only half geek.  In my ancient past I was both a sportscaster and a classical music radio announcer.  How is that for a cognitive dissonance?

Jokes aside, let’s get down to the serious satire.  It’s time to give out another BLAHS (BLog Awards Handed out by Sackler).   A quick review of the rules is in order:

  1. Unlike the various chain-letters going around that masquerade as awards, this one is given out only one at a time–by me.
  2. The only thing the winner has to…

View original post 1,058 more words

I Screwed It up – I Feel Stupid

I had mistyped the title of the previous blog post.

I failed to get a complicated word right the first time: En-tre-pre-neur-ship. And WordPress doesn’t spell-check titles (and I didn’t paste it into Word and spell-check, as usual).

So there is one more reason to ridicule me (<– this is an allusion to the intro of the post you might have missed due to the typo and WordPress Reader probably not able to cope with it).

I have fixed it now, and I also changed the PermaLink to that e-mail subscribers won’t find this post of mine:

So-Called Zen Capitalism and Random Thoughts on Entrepreneurship

This is probably as stupid as watching a 3D HD movie and not snatching free 3D glasses at the cinema’s check-out before. Just to illustrate stupidity utilizing a random example – that may or may not be related to Star Trek – Into the Darkness released in Austria.

Yours truly,

Elkement

. a person with a very big brain in a normal sized head and a brain working on some sort of TARDIS principle for said head to contain said brain according to this reblog.

PS / Edit: I have now checked a follower’s WordPress reader: The previous post was listed – despite the correction. Now I feel even more stupid.

PPS / Edit 2: And now I liked my own post – deliberately expecting WP to send me this infamous e-mail saying:
You liked your own post. You’re so vain. You probably think I Screwed It up – I Feel Stupid is about you. In this case the assumption is correct!

Remarks Written by Brain-Dead Visitors

Dear reader, enclosed you find my latest spam poem. Each line is verbatim from a spam comment (including typos). The meme pool had comprised about 400 spam comments collected in the past three weeks.

This time I forced myself to compile the poem extremely fast, scrolling through these comments in Data-from-Star-Trek-style and letting my subconsciousness decide. Therefore I call that sub-genre Postmodern Science Fiction Inspired Spam Poetry Devoid of Meaning.

I did not select phrases with less than 4 words. This rule is optional, not part of the Rules of the Cult – see historical information below – and I did not make up the last sentence of the poem, even the emoticon is genuine!

searching for sanskrit tattoos

too enforced a Political platform
that roam across the surface over periods of numerous millions of years

Your house is valueble for me
Good luck for the next!

Use your music or television as a continuous background noise
Are you sure concerning the supply?

Teeth are not made of bone
Will there be a part 2?

If you are inside the horizontal scenery
The caribbean have an infinitely more elementary reach

The instruments that lag in real life, lag correctly
I lost track of what I had been performing

A creative bent of mind and an eye for detail
to a great extent kind of free in bizarre grades of refinement

Such is the case, you must purchase tokens
but eventually you have to deliver

Could it be only me or does it look like a few of these remarks come across like they are written by brain dead visitors? 😛

Tanjavur Tamil Inscription2

Sanskrit – the grantha script (Wikimedia). I am sure Sanskrit tattoos look great!

Some historical context for new readers:

I crafted my first search term poems and spam poems some months ago in my Mad Scientist’s Garage – MacGyver-style, typical engineer’s poetry.

I was a spam poet, but also the chronicler of the Early Spam Poetry Community. This was my write-up of the dawn of Spam Poetry and Search Term Poetry and I had the honor to review the first on spam poetry recently.

But then … more recently …  spam poets entered the stage who really know how to handle languages made spam poetry real poetry:

The Nasty Commenter Spam Poem: A comment that haunted many bloggers – now dissected and disarmed. You can also see how the spammosphere reacts to the poem!

An Android Girl Coming of Age or a Conversation With God: The first poem I am aware of that contains a story, a dialogue. I have also learned how spam poetry works from the analysis in this article: Like regular poetry, the words already exist; they are just waiting to be put together in the right order.

Androids

Androids (Wikimedia). Probably the Android girl coming of age needs a drink after her spiritual experience?