Spam Poetry: “Cris-Crossing the Universe”

I have tried my hands at different kinds of experimental internet poetry, and all of the poems turned out to have a dystopic touch or tantalizing hints to some fundamental philosophical truth. Perhaps this says something about 1) The Internet or 2) about my subconsciousness.

Since I have reduced blogging frequency, the number of spam comments plummeted accordingly – from 600 to 150 spam comments in the queue. So it has got harder and harder to find meaningful spam. In addition, there is a new variety: Such comments are not composed of meaningful sentences, but phrases of three or four words are stitched together to form a lengthy comment that sounds like postmodern poetry in its own right.

But I try to rise to the challenge, and even add one more hurdle. Rules for this poem:

  • Each line is a snippet of a spam comment.
  • Snippets must not be edited
  • Only one snippet can be extracted from one spam comment, but not every comment has to be utilized.
  • New: Snippets must be used immediately in the order of spam comments (descending by date), and they must not be re-arranged afterwards.
  • All comments have to be harvested in a single session.

The following lines were taken from about 125 spam comments in the queue on October 1st.

The idea shows through the pamphlet
where people need to respond

temperatures will most likely govern
long-lasting usable cartoon figures

in certain places the floor is sinking
We have a very big problem.

withdrawal insomnia
The arrangement exists because of the persistence

arrangement - persistence

using ontology within all things
There should be one internal link

You’ll be able to move to another location
Could certainly come zombies

A Dreamcatcher bard who have been heard
sober as opposed to
stepping off point
the one that has problems with panic attack

We will dissect too
cris-crossing the universe far far.

cris-crossing the universe

Scattered all over
the location where the profits have been

conspiracy delayed
raving about choosing real humans

our personal fashionable ethos
As opposed to the isolation
produced by Zombie galleries
creating an irritatingly low experience

in the sci fi shooting living space
extremely like black topics

Our favorite self-theory
That particular creep
seriously electrifying

seriously electrifying

Blinded by the Light: Links Not Considered Click-Worthy

I promised more experimental internet poetry — here it is!

The problem: Spam comments have petered out, their number seems to scale with posting frequency. The quality of search terms for this blog has improved, and most terms are technical and dull.

I turned to untapped raw material – finally I know what last year’s web development project was good for. As predicted, views plummeted after merging three sites into one and picking a country domain. The upside is that search terms got much better.

The following ‘poem’ is built from phrases displayed in Google Search Console (formerly called Webmaster Tools) for my personal website. I am picking from search terms in the list of Impressions: which means my pages appeared in the list of results but most of them were not clicked; hence the title of this post.

~

blinded by the light
despicable me

subversive activities
inconspicuous in a sentence

blinded by the light

blended movie stream
spooky black without you

offensive security
issued by an authority that is not trusted

offensive security

how does a steel plow work
educated guess

definition of tossed
krypton
deflector

energy armor
was last opened
across the universe

prevent the details of
dubious battle

energy armor

galaxy life hacked
mathematical modelling of zombies
lest means
gloomy sunday lyrics

meaning of strangeness
toilet success hacked

letterbox company

educated sentence generator
template missing

define subversive humor
farewell letter to customers
reply all bcc
without papers

subversive (humor)

 ~

Google-Mediated Self-Poetry – Holiday Edition

A new sub-genre of my experimental internet poetry! Is Google able to capture the essence of this blog?

Rules:

  • Search your own site on Google, using site:[your site].
    This ‘poem’ is based on results from site:elkement.wordpress.com.
  • Open the first search result in a new tab.
  • Pick one phrase from this page (your own content) and note it down as a new line of the poem.
  • Open the next search result, pick the next line.
  • Editing of phrases is not allowed, and you must not re-visit the pages already processed or re-shuffle the lines.

This is so-called poetry from the first three pages of search results, as usual combined with my images.

I’ll stay away from social media for a while so you have time to digest it!

~~~

Nothing you have not seen in more elaborate fashion elsewhere
the true connection between my diverse activities

Mutant Tomatoe

a nitpicking stickler and painstaking submitter of DMCA complaints
a pioneer who did such an experiment long before the social media era

In past years I tried to eradicate it
a rotating alien-fighting device throwing darts
It is utterly exhausting

Scary Rotating Things

the phase portrait deviate from the circular shape
So what to do with all those old sites?
Steampunk seems to allude to a part of our common DNA

The tank will also be used as a cistern
shining laser light on the dark filament and analyzing the diffraction pattern
due to different spontaneous freezing temperatures of supercooled water.

ice storage

I am in need of trivia.
mentally insert black and white images inspired by Philip K. Dick‘s short stories.

Black and White

driving hansoms and communicating by wired telegrams.
We abandoned some gadgets and re-considered usage.

I finally added permanent redirects
you should try to use energy more efficiently first

Subconsciousness already takes the decision but you do not notice yet.
so there is no violation of energy conservation.

Bullerjan: Fire!!

Don’t panic – I have left the lofty heights of political analysis for now!
As a fallible human you might give in to the most intrusive requester

denying cap-and-gown costume as I detest artificial Astroturf traditions
I have a secondary super-villain identity.

Super Villain

Here is a typical example of very volatile output:
the irony of being considered a notorious link scammer

salt crystals should easily glide downwards from a tilted plane.
It’s time to compare costs again

Otherwise the grass might always be greener over there.

Green Grass, and more

 ~~~

Travelling Like Spam Poetry

We have an anniversary.

In the summer of 2005,
the Chief Engineer and I set out to visit every Austrian village
whose names started with the letter Z.

It was a straight-forward idea given that we lived in a z-village. Our universe of websites contains the virtual equivalent – z-village.net, a German website chronicling the adventures and musings of two fearless settlers – calling themselves Subversive Element and Irgendwer (Somebody Doing Anything Nobody Wants to Do). These setters are on a mission to discover myth-enshrouded z-village. Today the z-village website is an epic tomb, but we link to it on our blog: punktwissen – Professional Tinkerers and Restless Settlers, tagging it with How it all got started. Perhaps that’s why not every reader recognizes this blog’s business-y nature.

Now, after I have scared everybody off with weird links (…. wait, I forgot to mention that it was the other members of our EPSI circle that suggested this trip!), here is the story:

We used the official list of z-villages from Austria’s statistical service – 247 places in total in a manual approach to optimization: Trying to visit as many as possible in one round trip. In the end, we managed to see 100 z-villages, driving 2000 km in about 10 days.

So the process was:

Try to find the next z-village shown in your print-out of Google maps or referred to in other sources. Most of these villages were small settlements rather than political entities, comprised of houses with addresses like z-village 7, and finding those was like trying to follow a yellowed old treasure map.

z-tripz-tripFind a place-name sign.

z-trip, found sign.Take a weird photo of the sign (Collection).

z-trip

Take to our heels when local life-forms start wondering. Sometimes it was scary, like Indiana Jones meeting the cannibals. In the north of Austria near the border to Czech Republic  – places typically picked for stereotype dark-family-secret-in-rural-village crime stories – the locals were especially suspicious.

Look, these guys are taking a photo of the sign ????!!!

z-trip, scary place

I realize, it might be hard to see the fun in this. You need to be part of it. Later I proposed this type of travelling to become part of life coaches’ outdoor training offerings. In jest of course, but as usual some people took it seriously.

Via the silly rule implied by the list of names we were forced to travel to places you would never pick for any type of vacation: They were neither advertised to tourists nor intriguing to maverick adventurers. It was like clicking form one hyperlink to the next and having to pick one line for poetry.

In the years before the z-trip our travelling was mainly for business. I mainly saw airports, train stations, motorways, and corporate headquarters. Though it should not have been a secret, the z-trip showed us that we live in a country comprised of fields and forests, of land not completely sealed by the tokens of 20th century’s civilization.

z-trip, as in the bucolic cliché

z-trip, magic well

z-trip, wind farm

We had to neglect some z-villages in the Western, Alpine regions to keep kilometers to a reasonable level. Nevertheless, we saw enough small villages that made us wonder how people can cope with tons of snow.

It was like in these movies portraying New Yorkers travelling to the wilderness of Alaska for the first time, having to deal with harsh weather and raccoons. I realized how clichéd, biased, and distorted some of my views were (… and yet, I use more clichés now to make my point!).

z-trip, wild animals

We both quit our corporate jobs the day after we had returned from that trip.

z-trip, settlers' selfie

Travelling like this was like using the internet in the pre-social-media era: Jumping from one obscure private website – designed by Microsoft FrontPage, with pink marquee taglines – to the next, not sharing and commenting on it.

I crafted my first website in 1997 – with FrontPage, I admit, and for business – but I was very reluctant to enter the interactive social web for a long time. My reluctance was the topic of my very first WordPress post. Since three years I have been exploring Web 2.0, and I am now returning to the z-travelling style of using the internet.

z-trip, mystic river

z-trip, bumpy road ahead

What the Internet Asks of Me

… via search terms submitted by blog visitors, of course!

This is a cross-over of search term poetry and using search terms for serious investigations: A collection of phrases from 2015 WordPress statistics, plus comments [in italics and bold].

As usual, phrases are unedited except from truncations at beginning and end, and I have added ‘suitable’ images taken recently. 

[What will remain an enigma forever]
how to control alien spaceship
why isn’t probability deterministic
a i am poem about microwaves for science
why i feel im succumbed to my own dark side

alien spaceship[What you really should know]
63,42 divided by 3
calories burned swinging a scythe
understand thermodynamics intuitively

scythe[What this (blog) is not]
english short poem
popular science books on solid state
one test location where slinky wouldn’t slink

one test location[What this blog (maybe) is]
desublimation pot
surrealist paradise
scrapyard poem site
a website where you can combine anything

don't climb the art[What people only dare to ask here]
what was the importance of garden hose theory and what was it
i enrolled without turnprinting,how am i sure that i have enrolled?
elkement

elkement's garden hose

[What the internet gets right about what I do]
plot the performance curves for heat pump versus temperature of water delivered
cistern-based water-source heat pump system design
heat transfer from submerged plastic pipe
some daily calculation in physics
can bus technische alternative
heat pump ice storage
sniff router traffic
datalogger
uvr1611
pki

sniff router traffic

[What the internet thinks I am a top and foremost expert in]
development the art of constructing error messages
how.to respond to notification for award nomination
connecting slinkies

message or art

[What I should learn more about]
card dialing
worst cistern pumps
cattle panels tomato supports
horizotal press risk assessments

tomato support

[What I should turn into a business]
phreaking practice
management metaphor diagrams
quote juassic park multiple lines of reasoning converging on a single point

metaphor, security

[What should become a manifesto]
we combine theory and practice at the same time
any device control by internet
work hard play hard culture
poetry theory now
zen capitalism

fake zen garden

[What finally is true poetry]

what do you see when water vapor sublimes on windows
on a cold night
resist being baited

can a substance be made
to describe
an object rotating around a central force

search a poem related to the theme of the poem try again
practice everything in the universe
pump for ice

ice storage

Virtual Book Spine Poetry (Edition 2014 + 2015/6)

I am going to merge two overdue posts: 1) the 2014 edition of my yearly book reviews, a tradition I started last year, and 2) my next experimental poem, in a new experimental genre.

I owe to the inventors of Book Spine Poetry – and I’d like to challenge this: You can’t do that with ebooks. Which is a problem as I hardly read physical books.

But can’t we stack digital books on top of each other – creating a poem from their titles, that is: their virtual spines?

Books belong mainly in one of these genres.

  • IT security, hacking, and history / culture thereof. Plus a few history of science books
  • Life, work, technology, psychology, and their interdependencies.
  • Sleep research also including books read in 2015. Hence: 2015/6, one sixth of 2015.
  • Fiction by 1) Douglas Coupland, seismograph of geek culture and 2) Andra Watkins, a new author with a signature witty and succinct style.

Take artistic liberty I use the main title or the sub-title as a line of my poem – see the hover text on links for full information. I salt the poem with some spam comments (the lines without hyperlinks), and I add images from a building that boasts Germany’s largest unsupported concrete wall.

If this is too experimental: see my chronological Reading List instead.

it still appears to be a bit surreal to be honest

The Secret Life of Sleep
Exploding the Phone

Hackers
are generally preventing the situation
Democracy Without Secularism

Night School
The Art of Deception

Outliers
Lean In
don’t hesitate and lunge for a goal
Ghost in the Wires

architectural poetry

Not Without My Father
Catch Me If You Can
I am a Strange Loop
The options can be a little intimidating

 Walden
The Glass Cage

The Surprising Science of the Mind at Rest

The Year Without Pants
Slack
Nevertheless, for all it’s success,
Carry On

Microserfs
How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big

The Hard Thing About Hard Things
Good sleep, good learning, good life
The real trick now is maintaining a pipeline

architectural poetry

Generation A
The 4-Hour Workweek
Farewell to Reality

Girlfriend in a Coma
Hers was a outstanding life
Countdown to Zero Day

Spam Nation
So Good They Can’t Ignore You
it feels like to have a million dollars in bitcoins
Spoilt Rotten

Gödel, Escher, Bach
Robust Control System Networks

To Live Forever
I have always disliked the idea

architectural poetry

Quantum Computing since Democritus
as elliptical and centred as
The Twenty-four Hour Mind

Internal Time
Engineering Security
including officers with drawn weaponry

Generation X
Thinking, Fast and Slow
Moving On
if you are tired of accepting failure

Applied Cryptography
It truly is incomprehensible to me now,
Dreamland

Its not like you’ve said something extremely impressive architectural poetry

Google Translational Poetry – Austrian Christmas Edition

I am at the nadir of my online reputation – my Google page impressions plummeted by a factor of about 100. This is very liberating, and I start enjoying the irony of being considered a notorious link scammer. Now I will harvest Google for any weird purpose whatsoever. For poetry nobody will read.

The title says it all. I am running – already questionable – ‘experimental internet flarf poetry’ through multiple languages in Google Translate, in order to enhance it even more. The set of source poems is the second batch of five poems from the Raffle Mop series, Google-powered poems seeded from Google-powered images.

Here are the languages, used in this order:

  1. English
  2. Zulu
  3. Maori
  4. Haitian
  5. Greek
  6. Vietnamese
  7. Icelandic
  8. Latin
  9. German
  10. Esperanto
  11. English

The original poem is displayed to the left, the resulting poem to the right. I try to unveil the hidden Christmas-y aspect in each of them and illustrate it accordingly. In particular, I hope to find an image on Wikimedia both related to that Christmas-y message and to my home country. Just to add some highly educational content.

~

since the earliest times

Cosmic Patriarchs
Oh, oh, oh,
This is so inspirational !!

Everything
off the most memorable
Congrats for gaining strength!

Follow Along
Web beacons may be used

reply

patriarch
Ho, ho, ho,
Where is wonderful !!

all
unforgettable
Thanks to the power!

follow
You may use web beacons

Well, who would not spot that Ho, ho, ho that Oh, oh, oh has been turned into? As if I ordered this for Christmas! Here you see Santa Claus in front of an Austrian police helicopter. I don’t know what he did wrong.

ORF & BMI Nikolaus ~

I’m still working

MY REALITY
(C)
What a fun & interesting adventure

It was a culture shock
Ut tellus dolor, dapibus eget, elementum vel

getting a hold of me might be a bit difficult
Name is required

This is for me

The Outlook Me
(100)
Fun and adventure that is

It was a shock competition
Go Lands iPhone bikes

I get a little heavy
name required

That fake Latin from the original poem (a snippet of the classical ‘Lorem Ipsum’ filler text on the source website) has turned into Go Lands iPhone bikes. We live in an era of consumerism for sure. The latest iPhone for Christmas!

I searched for an Austrian iPhone or Apple store but all I found were images of the traditional Austrian (or German) Baked Apple. This goes better with Christmas traditions anyway!

Bratapfel 2

~

he won it handily

It was a perfect mix.
repaving the roadway
What’s happening?

find your own voice
You can join the conversation
Have the time of your life.

Join The Flock
use public transit to get to work

taking undeserved criticism for way too long
you’ve tried everything and nothing’s worked

adventurous spirit trickles in to the boardroom
you can improve your mental space.

clever

This is a good mix.
highway
What has happened?

find their own voice
You can turn the discussion
Often in your life.

sheep
Work, public use

Enough time to check
Nothing works tries

Reduction in new cabinet
Duis spiritual space.

This requires more historical, theological, and cultural context – which is out of scope here. But there is spiritual space, and there are sheep (the latter translated from Join the Flock – a hidden encouragement to join a cult?). The logical pick is an image of a Nativity Scene (Christmas Crib). To tell you the truth, I find those creepy – especially if they have plastic sheep. But here is a nicer one – in a nutshell:

Weihnachskrippe~

a wealth of experience

we can keep up our hard work.
TAKE ACTION
flush the solid waste to the ocean.

Display

Work with us our problems.
Get active
How strong the open sea.

This was a real challenge. First, we see again how the values of our ancestors (wealth of experience) have been transformed into shallow show-off (Display). The traditional hands-on and accountability (we can keep up our hard work) turned into a vague statement that sounds like the scrambled version of a management consulting company’s mantra (Work with us our problems). On the other hand, we see horrid environmental pollution (flush the solid waste to the ocean) replaced by responsible use of natural resources and by even assigning human values to resources as the sea (How strong the open sea). So all I would need is an image showing a management consultant who works as a Greenpeace activist in his spare time. This image would need to be taken at some ocean-protection event on the December 25. I think I have to skip the illustration challenge.

This is the best I can do – trying a different cascade of weird mental connections: A skeleton of a prehistoric fish (?), exhibited in Vienna’s museum of natural history. Actually, the fossil had been found in a village very close to where I live. Actually, carp is or has been a traditional Christmas dinner in some regions of Austria, and I would not recognize the difference in skeletons perhaps.

NHM - Scorpaena prior~

he is amazing

paint a thin layer on the background
capture the emotional essence of a person
whimsically poignant

The World Unites!
outspoken 24/7 force of nature
in the truly classic sense

STAY INFORMED
We are not responsible for the content

incredible

A thin layer of paint
exploration
use capricious

Men’s tirade world!
The power of nature and the mouth 24/7
The most common reason

Fermentum no sourdough white
We are not responsible for the content

The last line stands out: We are not responsible for the content. It seems phrases from legal terms are immune to cascaded translation. Maybe the appropriate disclaimer that should be put on pyrotechnic stuff sold before New Year’s Eve.

See an image of Vienna’s maybe most famous cathedral. From  the description of this  image on Wikimedia (which I read after I had already selected the image) the law-abiding citizen learns something:

‘Of course, fireworks within that area of the town (its center, and UNESCO World Heritage!) are disallowed by law. Nevertheless, it would hardly be possible to prevent all those people from igniting consumer pyrotechnics.’

New Year's Eve, Vienna 2009-2010 ZEROMerry Christmas, eveyone! Thanks for listening in.

Thanks, Bing, for indexing so nicely!